No names, no titles, no problems?

No Names, No titles, No problems? 

Apparently it was. Even anonymously, feelings were hurt.  Poor baby. I apologized in court. Now I want to know, where is my apology? Where is my apology for withholding documentation for over a year?  Where is my apology for the needless lawsuit, even though I won? Where is my apology for hiding the money that was owed to me?  I know I should forgive. I know I should forgive unconditionally, for the sake of my own psyche. I am finding it very hard. I said the words in court, but I didn't feel them. I didn't feel it one bit, even though the words tripped off my tongue. It's like the song says, "sorry seems to be the hardest word." Why is it so hard to forgive? If I had the answer to that, I wouldn't need therapy. I would write the world's greatest self-help book, and be awash in money and grateful readers. Until then, I will pray for forgiveness myself. I will strive to forgive others, even if they never apologize for their wrongs to me. I ask for grace, even though I'm not very religious, my Christian upbringing keeps creeping back in. In the mean time, I will work on loving myself. I will work on forgiving myself. I found a lot of quotes online that resonated with me. "You are more powerful than your pain." "Don't just be good to others, be good to yourself." I have been living those pretty well. The next one is the one I have trouble with, but it is excellent advice.

I should put that on a magnet on my fridge so I can see it everyday.