Where Do You Start?

WHERE DO YOU START?

I've been asking myself a lot of questions lately along the lines of how did I get here? How did two normally rational, smart people, who were married for a long time let it fall apart to the point where we communicate only through counsel, and no one will back down. As I was driving down to my hearing feeling sick to my stomach,  I heard this song, Where Do You Start?  The lyric that really resonated was "How do you separate the present from the past? How do you deal with all the things you thought would last? That didn't last. With bits of memories scattered here and there, I look around and don't know where to start."

We ended badly, but we had great times earlier on. We had trips to Japan, Europe, we lived in England, and had two great kids. We had a lot of fun, and then we didn't.  Life threw us some curve balls that we maybe didn't handle so well. Resentments grew up that were left to fester, and soon they infected the relationship to the point it couldn't be saved, but by then our lives were "tangled like the branches of a vine, that intertwine."  My marriage was half my life, so it's hard to separate my memories and " take apart those yesterdays."  I physically can't erase my past from all the photos, because he's holding the kids on their first day of school, or carrying them on his back.  I would like to divide which tapes and dreams belong to you and which are mine. The physical division of furniture and art seemed easy at the time, but now I look back at the memories, and "I don't know where to start." There are better singers of this song, but I love Bea Arthur, and she passed away recently. She sings it like a woman who truly understands it.  I adore Michael Feinstein's version. I used to have his CD, but when I heard the song today, it was like I had never heard it before.  It hit home, because now I'm living it.

Where Do You Start?

Where do you start? How do you separate the present from the past?

How do you deal with all the things you thought would last? That didn't last

With bits of memories scattered here and there

I look around and don't know where to start

Which books are yours?

Which tapes and dreams belong to you and which are mine?

Our lives are tangled like the branches of a vine that intertwine

So many habits that we'll have to break

And yesterday's we'll have to take apart

One day there'll be a song or something in the air again

To catch me by surprise and you'll be there again

A moment in what might have been

Where do you start? Do you allow yourself a little time to cry?

Or do you close your eyes and kiss it all goodbye? I guess you try

And though I don't know where and don't know when

I'll find myself in love again

I promise there will always be a little place no one will see

A tiny part within my heart, that stays in love with you

Written by Alan Bergman, Johnny Mandel, Marilyn Bergman • Copyright © Spirit Music Group, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc